The Best Bad iPhone Apps!
Following on from our mauling of the unofficial Slumdog Millionaire app yesterday, we thought it’d be good to show you some of the best Apple iPhone apps which are equal parts waste of money and guilty pleasure!
Omio takes no responsibility for the content in these apps, we are merely conduits bringing them to your attention.
In other words, don’t blame us if they are shockingly bad!
1. Hooters Calendar Slider – £1.19 (download here)
Yes, this sets the tone for the apps to follow. The Hooters Calendar Slider replicates those classic tile games, except the images are of Hooters girls as opposed to tasteful things. With 60 different pictures, 3 difficulty levels and the ability to shake the phone to rearrange the tiles, no-one cares because there are 60 pictures of Hooters girls.
Slide the tiles to arrange the lovely ladies, then the completed pictures can be used as wallpapers for your iPhone!
Unfortunately, there is no option for using GPS to find your local Hooters emporium, so those downloading this app in the hopes of getting some chicken and beer are plum out of luck…
Best Review: None. Perhaps everyone is embarrassed to spend £1.19 on jumbled up pictures of girls?
2. Spin The Coke – Free (download here)
“The Spin the Coke application is for those who recall those heady days of first crushes. A fun way to break the ice, or to give that someone special a not so subtle hint, just spin your finger in a circular motion and let the Coke bottle do the rest.”
Or you could get a real Coke bottle?
Possibly the geekiest way to play spin the bottle in the history of time, or clever marketing? We say neither, but at least it’s free.
Best Review: Dan in Southampton
“Crap 0 stars it’s just a picture of a bottle for god sake.”
More pointless apps follow!
3. iFart Mobile – £1.19 (download here)
The one that started it all. ‘The world’s most popular digital fart machine.’
Initially banned from the App Store on the grounds of taste and decency, iFart was finally unleashed on an unsuspecting world on the 12th of December. On Christmas Day iFart was downloaded 38,927 times, making Comms Infomedia $27,249 on one day. It then topped the App Store charts for two weeks.
Imagine how upset all of these app developers must be, to see the 21st Century equivalent of those keyrings that made noises (including the awesome ‘bomb’ sound!) eclipsing them in sales. All those new iPhone owners using their £350 handsets to make fart noises. It breaks my heart.
Very funny though!
Best review: Flubbtyr
“This makes me laugh more than multi million pound comedy films, those who don’t like it, get a sense of humour.”
4. Church Organ – £0.59 (download here)
“Did you even dreamed [sic] to carry a big Church Organ in your pocket, to play while travelling or sitting in your sofa? It is now possible, thanks to Church Organ!”
It’s a church organ, “suitable for any music, religious or profane,” according to maker Deepmala Ram Parkash. Why?
Just…why?
5. Retro Noisemaker Keychain – £0.59 (download here)
My mistake. This is the 21st Century equivalent of those noisemaker keychains. I think a real one probably costs less than this app. Apparently they’ve managed to accurately capture the lo-fi FM synthesised sounds perfectly.
Thanks, but you needn’t have bothered.
It is only through scouring the detritus currently available on the App Store that you realise why many publishers are lobbying for a ‘premium’ section, where games of a higher value can be presented. There is so much poor content (as well as lawyer-baiting apps that happily steal content like Duck Hunt) that it makes it almost impossible to find anything worth downloading any more.
Our bet? Sites like Apptism orders all of the App Store’s content, is updated daily and is much less laborious to navigate will show you exactly what you want to waste your money on, with a minimum of hassle!
Also, vote with your money! If you didn’t buy terrible apps by the thousands, maybe the App Store wouldn’t be so full of them…
Tags: app store, Apple, bad iphone apps, iPhone, iPhone apps